Yesterday, I was too sick to go to church, so Angie and Ella went. We had a Trunk-or-Treat in which David Stewart, our awesome Children’s Ministry Director told a story about a pumpkin. I have no idea what David said, but Angie used it to spark a discussion when we got home. She had enough insight to see the question marks written on Ella’s face.

She’s been asking a lot of questions for a long time. In fact, just a couple of months ago, we had one of those “near misses” in which we really thought she might be ready, but encouraged her to wait a bit longer. We’ve sensed a deep longing in her to have peace about this issue. When some of her friends made a commitment to follow Jesus, she took notice and has remained in deep thought until now.

We talked about the meaning of a relationship with Jesus. We talked about the meaninglessness of terms such as “asking Jesus into your heart.” (Never use it… ever.) She expressed a thorough understanding of sin, guilt, separation from God, hell, the meaning of the cross, forgiveness from God, and the fact that being “saved” really means a lifetime acceptance of Jesus Christ as Savior. She got it all right. Then, she bowed her head, acknowledged her own sinfulness, expressed her belief that Jesus died to pay the penalty of her sins, and asked Him to save her.

Afterward? My lovely wife led them in the “welcome to the Kingdom dance” (a phrase we picked up from our good friend t-show). Ella was ecstatic! She danced… with Jesus! She smiled… with Jesus. She laughed… because she was relieved of a burden. She’s free forever! She’s truly, in every sense of the word, eternally a child of the King!

Angie and I are relieved, elated, and blessed! God has brought us tremendous joy by watching our daughter take multiple steps toward a personal relationship with God. Now… the huge and heavy responsibility of guiding her faith until we release her into adulthood. God be praised!!

Our little baby’s growing up! Few things are more precious, and more heart-breaking, than your six-year-old little girl with a backpack on, marching off to school. We’re happy for her, excited about her future, and prayerful that she’ll be used of God in mighty ways! But we also don’t want her to age another day.

WAIT! There is more to read… read on »

I just returned home from a whirlwind adventure! We started out last Monday and stopped in Branson to spend a couple of nights with Angie’s family. We spent a day at Silver Dollar City, ate at some good restaurants, and spent some time by the pool with the kids.

Then we headed to my hometown of Bowling Green, Kentucky where I was scheduled to perform the wedding of a couple whom we had come to know over our years of ministry there. Ella had flowergirl duties to perform as well! I then preached on Sunday and we headed home again, stopping to celebrate Ella’s birthday (in advance) with her Nana and Papa. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »

Saturday, I flew a kite! It was a beautiful breezy day and my daughter had just gotten a cheap (99 cent), flimsy kite, so we headed over to the front yard of the church. On the way I thought, “This is never going to work, but at least we’ll have a nice walk on a pretty day.” Much to my surprise, the kite flew easily. In fact, it soared to at least fifty feet - pretty impressive for a five-year-old and a Dad with no kite-flying experience. WAIT! There is more to read… read on »

I’ve been saying for weeks now that I’m totally okay with Ella starting Kindergarten. Today was the day. We arrived in plenty of time to fight the terrible traffic mess that had gathered in front of the schools (someone thought it would be really bright to place two elementary schools right next to each other on a neighborhood street). We found a parking place and took a deep breath. Ella did great all the way into the classroom and over to her seat. Then the tough moment came…

We had to leave. You’ll notice in the photo that Ella’s hands are on her ears. This has been her sign of trepidation for quite some time. We’re not sure what she’s hearing, but we’re sure she doesn’t want to hear any more of it! As Angie and I headed across the classroom and out the door, Ella turned her head away from everyone else and began to cry softly. She wouldn’t call out, as that might attract attention. She just cried.

Now I have to tell you the strange part of what I’ve been feeling since that moment. I’ve been divided in half. On the one hand, I think this is a very important step for her. She’s been painfully shy and quite fearful of uncertain situations, but life is full of uncertainties. She’s going to be meeting new people in every class and at every job for the rest of her life. She’s going to have to face new challenges and learn to stand up and speak up when the time comes. I was shy too, just like Ella. It never got easy, but interacting with others is just what we do from now until the grave.

Then, there was the other side of me. For a brief moment, homeschooling crossed my mind, not for any spiritual or religious reasons but only because home is the one place where we can shield her from anything of which she will ever be afraid. Bugs and bees are outside the door, people and academic challenges await her at school. Bullies and boyfriends will be her lot as she grows through the grade levels. All of this terrifies me just a bit, as the Daddy whose little girl needs my protection.

Somewhere in the middle is perhaps the place where our hearts ought to lie. We must love them, and release them. We must prepare them for evil, and shelter them from it. We must make home heaven for them, and launch them into the real world. Our hearts should break over our children’s fears, but we are right to let them go, to force them to face each next step. Life is really made of those steps.

As for me, I’m okay. As for Ella, I’m pretty sure it will be several weeks before she adjusts, if not several school years. As for Momma, I admire her more today than ever as a Mom, and as a little girl in a grown up body who doesn’t want to be left alone. Here I am, one guy placed on this earth to protect two precious girls, a Momma and her daughter. I suppose my only recourse is to depend fully upon the grace of our magnificent God to carry me and my family along. Maybe Ella might catch that vision, and find her fears released as she learns to trust the Father more each day.

I have work to accomplish today, but I can’t wait for 3:00 to come!

Isn’t summer supposed to be our vacation from the busyness of life? This summer, for the Cox family, is flying right by in a whirlwind of activity. We’ve traveled to see family in three different states (Missouri and Georgia for Angie, Kentucky for me). We’re getting ready to spend a week at church camp. And then, it will be time for Angie to return to work, for me to get busy with a new church year, and for Ella to begin Kindergarten.

In the midst of being busy in these bigger ways, I’ve also found ministry to families and needs to be rather pressing lately. My phones are ringing off the hook and I’ve done more “people work” in the last few weeks than ever before. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I’m very thankful to be needed, to be used in God’s hands, and to watch God at work in people’s lives. On the other hand, I hate what Satan is doing to the people around me that I love so dearly. It has certainly caused me to have an appreciative perspective on my own life. God has been so gracious and merciful to me, especially when I’ve least deserved it!

I will also say that the pressing nature of many of the issues I deal with drive me to my knees. I feel the continual need to remain constant in prayer so that my own spirit is not dragged down by the multitude of problems in the world. Depravity, and its results, can be draining on our frail emotions and if we aren’t careful, we’ll be tempted to despair. But then there is that verse in Romans 8:37, “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” More than conquerors, winners, valiant victors in the war called life. And why? Because Jesus died and rose again!

Today was kind of tough… for Momma anyway. We saw our little girl “walk the line” to graduate from Preschool. The theme was What A Wonderful World, which all nineteen graduates sang together. They actually played Pomp and Circumstance as they marched in. She got a diploma and an award for Developing the Most in Confidence throughout the year. We’re so proud!

Angie handles moments like these with a mothering sadness. Her little girl will never graduate from Preschool again. I, on the other hand, handle things a bit differently. While Mamma shed a few tears, I was frustrated that the camera wasn’t working quite right. For me, it’s just one more step toward adulthood, which is the goal. I know that the time will fly and I’ll be crying at her wedding far too soon. Nevertheless, I tend to look forward to each next occasion while Angie wants to hang on to her little girl.

One thing I know, I’m going to enjoy another graduation someday. I’m not referring to Ella’s High School graduation, though I know I’ll enjoy that too, but the day I “walk the line” at the judgment seat of Christ. On the one hand, I view that day with trepidation - there is so much more to be done here in this life. On the other hand, I can’t wait for the eternal reward God has promised to all who place their faith squarely in Him alone.

Our little baby is all grown up… or at least about to head for kindergarten, but I feel that we have so much work to do. If she’s out of the house by eighteen, then we only have fourteen more years to prepare her heart to be forever sensitive to the Savior’s voice. We want to pray her into the family of God, model a genuine love for Jesus, and watch as she surrenders herself to His will daily. May God so prepare us for our graduation day!

Well, we’ve been the parents of but one child for almost five years now. I remember Bill Cosby saying something about us not being allowed to use the title “parent” until there were at least two. This morning, we had three. Me, Angie, Ella, Jayden, and little Quinton all headed down to the Hotel breakfast area… so the adventure began. It was a packed house and we found one little tall table in the corner. We made about six trips for food, napkins, drinks, forks, and then some more napkins.

Then on to the pool where we promptly got in and started having fun… until I felt my wallet which was still in the pocket of my trunks. After handling the wallet, along with a boy who splashed a bit too much and a girl who can’t stand splashing, I noticed some very scary looking elements floating around in the pool. Yes, you guessed it, somebody else’s kid (thankfully) had decided he or she just couldn’t hold it any longer. So we made our exit and notified the front desk of the potential health hazard floating around. My shirt was soaked because my four-year-old had used it like a towel and left it laying in a puddle of water… we’re still working on the whole “be considerate of others” thing.

After blow-drying my wallet’s various contents and getting settled back down in the Hotel room, I sat down to the computer to write this blog and reflected on what great champions all of you multi-kid parents really are. On a serious note, please pray for us. Angie had an ectopic pregnancy last fall, which was one of the hardest things we’ve gone through. But it’s really just part of a larger struggle to expand our family. Knowing that others within our church family are struggling with the same issue, some of whom don’t have children yet, makes us rely on the Lord that much more to invade our varied situations and bless with more little munchkins.

For a few hours we tasted having three or more kids, and how sweet it really was!!

I was born September 3, 1977 in Bowling Green, Kentucky and met Jesus as my personal Savior in the summer of 1984. I married Angie Kirk on June 14, 1997 and together, we attended Central Baptist College from Fall of 96 to Spring of 98. I then attended Western Kentucky University from Fall of 99 to Spring of 03. I served as Pastor of Scottsville Road Baptist Church in Bowling Green, Kentucky, where I had originally surrendered to full-time ministry, from the spring of 98 to the fall of 05. My wife, Angie, holds Bachelor of Social Work and Master of Social Work degrees from Western Kentucky University and works as a Therapist with Ozark Guidance in Springdale, Arkansas. Our daughter, Ella Grace, was born July 24, 2002.

Now, I serve as Lead Pastor at Bethel Baptist Church in Bentonville, Arkansas. In my spare time I also do freelance web design through my microstudio, eGrace Creative.

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The blog has been put on hold for a couple of weeks now, primarily because of all that my wife and I have been experiencing in our personal lives. Here’s a recounting of it…

On Monday evening, October 30, Angie left her ladies’ Connection Cafe meeting feeling well, but by the time we drove from the church to our house (just a couple of minutes) she was in terrible pain. We decided to go to the emergency room. Our beloved friends, Cory and Lachelle McCaig, came to sit from about 10:00 pm until 4:30 Tuesday morning while Angie was subjected to numerous tests, which found essentially nothing wrong.

On Tuesday morning, October 31, we went for a follow-up visit at her physician’s office and he became concerned about some possible internal bleeding. He decided to admit her to St. Mary’s hospital where he would perform a laproscopic procedure simply to explore any potential problems. He, like the emergency room physician, sought to rule out the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy. One he began the procedure, he discovered the worst scenario, an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy, which can be deadly.

The short, one-hour procedure turned into a two and one half hour operation with a large incision. I was so moved as I waited in the surgery waiting room as about two dozen members of our church surrounded me, waiting to hear that Angie had come through the surgery okay. We were delighted to hear that she would be just fine. The physician explained that she had sustained heavy internal bleeding and that her risk of possible death had been higher than he had anticipated.

Angie’s Dad brought her Mom down from St. Louis to help take care of her for a few days but her stay was interrupted by yet another family emergency. On Thursday, Angie’s grandmother suffered a heart attack and was in intensive care in Washington, Missouri. The family had hoped that she was improving, but in the middle of Thursday night, a call came alerting us that she had taken a turn for the worse. Angie’s Mom borrowed my car and drove through the night to be at her mother’s side. Ella Briggs (our daughter’s namesake) went home to heaven on Friday, November 3.

Later that afternoon, Angie and I loaded up our van and began the trip to St. Clair to attend the funeral, but wisdom along with some forceful but loving input from our family, prompted us to turn back and stay at home. Angie was recovering a little each day, but it may be a total of six weeks recovery time before she is completely healthy again. We’ve taken a much needed one night sabbatical to a nearby vacation spot and have attempted to settle back into a routine, with Angie returning to work on this past Monday, November 13.

The Sunday before all of this began, my text included Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are the called according to His purpose.” That Monday night, Angie testified at Connection Cafe that she had (at least we thought at the time) a miscarriage, but that God was faithfully teaching us to trust Him. It isn’t merely a cliche that “everything happens for a reason.” When you’re a believer, nothing is left to chance anymore. You realize that God has a sovereign plan that allows His children to endure some very difficult crises in life in order that we might enjoy “the fellowship of (Christ’s) sufferings.”

Since we learn how to be disciples through the tough stuff, what have I learned from all of this?

First, I’ve learned the importance of God’s timing. Had Angie not been persisent with her physician in his office, he would have sent her home where she may have bled to death. We’ve heard numerous testimonies from others who experienced the same trauma and were in grave danger. God rescued Angie just in time. On a similar note, I’ve learned the mysterious nature of God’s timing. Why would Angie’s grandmother pass away just after Angie’s surgery when her mother would have to make a midnight dash for Missouri and when Angie could not attend the funeral? All I can conlcude us that God is ultimately wise.

Second, I’ve learned the value of a loving church family, a fellowship of believers. I was surrounded in a waiting room by numerous friends and members of our spiritual family. Once home, people provided meals as well as company with their visits. We’ve experienced an outpouring of love and compassion for which we will be forever grateful. I’ve often heard others say, “I don’t see how people make it through things without a church family.” That statement was exemplified in our tragedy.

Third, I’ve learned what a beautiful and courageous woman I married! I sat in the surgery waiting room virtually helpless. I could do nothing to ensure her safety except to pray. I could do nothing to help her recover except play nurse and fetch water. Yet I watched as Angie handled the situation like a champ. Note that champions have weak moments, moments of curiosity about the activity of God and moments of emotional break-down. Tears rarely come from cowards. I’ve learned a new respect for her. While it was our baby that died so prematurely in a pregancy complication, it was her body that experienced such drastic trauma. I wish I could be half as strong as her!

More than anything, we’ve learned “in all things (to) give thanks unto God, for this is the will of God for (us) in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) At our former church, we used to have a responsive chant: “God is good… all the time… and all the time… God is good.” God really is good. We don’t always get what we expect or want, but God never ceases to be holy or loving. God has been glorified in our lives in so many ways in the last few weeks, all we can do is humbly give Him praise, cry our tears, and go on in faith that God will always be good!